darksilenceinsuburbia:

Brandon F. Wilson. Kernels.

oldprickbitches:

Omfg I was sitting in a room with a bunch of my aunts, uncles and cousins and my grandma had this weird smile on her face so I asked her what was up and she just looked at me and said “everyone in this house is alive thanks to my vagina”

Man my home girl int tryna send me nudes so I’m going to let of my frustrations by watching Unsolved Mysteries on YouTube.

cyanidegrrrl:

deer boyfriend

i’m currently going ape shit

goodfuckingsex:

this is my life

sharonosbourne:

I’m 72% water 200% emo

iwishlilbwasmygrandpa:

Howdy nerds its the big dick robot whoo loves to party

richwhitelesbian:

nostalgiaultra:

Listen shithead. I used to think you were funny. Til i found out you watched an anime and pumped your stump to it. You better unfollow me or i swear to god I will tell my dad. He works at runescape and i know you dont want that kind of heat on your…

“There is a kind of crying I hope you have not experienced, and it is not just crying about something terrible that has happened, but a crying for all of the terrible things that have happened, not just to you but to everyone you know and to everyone you don’t know and even the people you don’t want to know, a crying that cannot be diluted by a brave deed or a king word, but only by someone holding you as your shoulders shake and your tears run down your face.”

Lemony Snicket, The End (via durianquotes)

geminicreations:

i think this may just be the greatest string of tweets in the history of mankind